I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” The man replies, “Boobs!”

Q: What do you call stoned Mexicans?
A: Baked beans.

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.

Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.