Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg. The buyer asks, “Why the wooden leg?” The farmer replies, “That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school.”
“Great, but why the wooden leg?”
“The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy.”
“Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?”
“Well when you have a pig that smart you don’t eat it all at once!”

I went to a hot dog stand with my pet snake. I said,” May I please have a hot dog for my snake?” The waitress replied, “I’m sorry, but we’re all out of buns.” I said, “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hun!”

Have you heard the story of the magic sandwich? Never mind, it’s just a bunch of bologna.

Q: Why don’t blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can’t fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Waiter: “Do you want any dessert?”
Teddy Bear: “No Thanks. I’m Stuffed!”

Q:How do you know a clock is still hungry?
A: It goes back four seconds.

Q: Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
A: Sundae School