Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
A: Roast twerky!

What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house’s doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. “Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?” she asked. The boy replied, “Under my buckin’ hat.”

Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.

Q: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
A: Because they are suckers.