What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.

Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elfabet.

Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Q: Why is Santa Claus’ sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: “Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas.” Santa writes back, “Dear Timmy send me me your mommy.”