Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: “Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!”
Santa: “Haven’t you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?”

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Army.
Army who?
Army and you still friends?

Q: Why did the cookie cry?
A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!

I think I killed my best friend. He asked me what was the best thing for sunburn and I told him, “Sit in the sun for eight hours.”

Q: What is pink and fluffy?
A: Pink fluff.

Spring is here, I’m so excited I wet my plants!

Q: Did you hear about oxygen’s second date with potassium?
A: It was OK2!

Q: What do you call a Time Lord’s poop?
A: A Turdis.

A prisoner was freed from prison and yelled: I’m free, I’m free at last!” and a kid replied “So what? I’m four”

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Marry.
Marry who?
Marry me, please!