How do you fix a cabbage? With a cabbage patch.

Q: Why did the fish cross the sea?
A: To get to the other tide

Conjunctivitis.com: a site for sore eyes.

Q: What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?

A: You’re too young to smoke

Q:What Do Tree’s Drink?

A:Root beer

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Phil.
Phil who?
Phil up the tire. It needs more air.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday!

Q: What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
A: Croak-a cola.

Simba was moving too slowly, so I told him to Mufasa!

Patient: “Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.”

Doctor: “Pull yourself together then.”